The Unfurling Self

Purpose as Mental Health Intervention

“This widespread loneliness is often analogized to a disease, an epidemic. But that label obscures something important: Loneliness in America isn’t merely the result of inevitable or abstract forces, like technological progress; it’s the product of social structures we’ve chosen — wittingly or unwittingly — to build for ourselves.” - Ezra Klein

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of purpose—not just because it’s something I’ve had to reconsider as I’ve redesigned my life after getting sick, but because it’s a concept that has been part of my work for a while: finding your authentic self, peeling back layers to uncover who you are, and identifying your purpose in this crazy world. The work of finding out who you are apart from familial, social, or cultural expectations influences our sense of hope and excitement for the future.

In 2019, I did a few workshops with Ari, Zingerman’s founder and awesome-human extraordinaire. He provided me with a perspective on anarchism that I hadn’t fully conceived: that successful self-management is anarchism in action. He quotes Ursula K. Le Guin: “What is an anarchist? One who, choosing, accepts the responsibility of choice.” Key concepts of being an anarchist, he writes, are:

Be yourself; make your choices mindfully; contribute positively to the community; be kind, creative, and caring; help others to live their dreams; respect and assist everyone you can, including yourself; develop your spirit; support those in need; honor the planet and the amazing collection of people, plants, and animals that are on it. Be daring and do the right thing for yourself and the world.

How is this all connected? The concepts of anarchism described here require peeling back, mindful questioning, and calm consideration—deeply understanding oneself, one’s ecology, what influences us, and how to influence our worlds. Understanding what brings us joy and helps us to live greatly.

Yet in our current social structures, the kind of mindful self-determination Ari describes feels increasingly hard to achieve, especially for young people. Instead of architecting spaces that support intentional choice-making and community connection, we've built systems that fragment attention and isolate individuals.

The Social Paradox of Connection

This disconnect became the focus of my work with HopeLab. A while back, I was hired to help them communicate their focus on purpose as a mental health intervention for youth. Recently, they partnered to launch Purpose Commons, an organization centered on the idea that building a sense of purpose within a community, through connection, is critical to promising futures.

Young people are bombarded with millions of influences on social media, displaying endless possibilities of what they might become or need. They navigate constant notifications and social media feeds that fragment attention into ever-smaller pieces. Research from Building H reveals a striking paradox: 46% of US adults are lonely, with rates climbing to 55% among younger individuals. Those who use social media and games most heavily—the very platforms designed to connect us—report both higher levels of loneliness and greater belief in these platforms’ ability to foster connection. Frenzy and interruption dominate over completion and pause, leaving rare moments to breathe, consider, and reflect on who they are and what they want to do with this one wild and precious life. With loneliness serving as both symptom and catalyst, rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide among adolescents and young adults have reached unprecedented levels.

While it might be technology that we want to blame, in reality, it’s the social structures we’ve chosen to build that obfuscate social connections and individuality. This is precisely what Purpose Commons is trying to push against while putting in place new systems that ensure community and connection support the building of a sense of self and purpose.

The Interconnected Self

Purpose, in this context, isn’t about task lists that ladder up to goals. It’s about revelation, not transformation—the slow, deliberate process of unfurling into who we truly are beneath layers of external expectations and digital noise.

Most importantly, individual development hinges on social connectedness, and social connectedness hinges on individual development.

This interdependence challenges our emphasis on individuality and individualism, concepts that have shaped youth development thinking. While personal autonomy remains important, research increasingly shows that wellbeing among adolescents is more influenced by social determinants—peers, community, connection—than by individual achievement alone.

The 5Cs model of Positive Youth Development—Competence, Confidence, Character, Connection, and Caring—reveals this interconnected nature of healthy development. Research across cultures consistently shows two factors stand out as most crucial: confidence (self-worth and efficacy) and connection (positive bonds with people and institutions). These traits emerge from and contribute to healthy social ecosystems.

The Science of Purpose and Wellbeing

Research consistently demonstrates the connection between purpose and mental health across age groups. Importantly, searching for purpose is also associated with increased life satisfaction during adolescence and emerging adulthood, suggesting the journey toward purpose is itself meaningful.

Hope emerges as a crucial mediator. Young people who have identified purposes report higher levels of hope, which correlates with greater life satisfaction and resilience. Purpose generates hope, hope sustains engagement with purpose, and both contribute to overall well-being and the capacity to form meaningful connections.

The Ecology of Becoming

Purpose-centered approaches to mental health intervention assume that within each person is an innate drive toward meaningful contribution. Given the right conditions, this drive can expand and flourish. Supporting the emergence of authentic purpose while honoring the fundamental social nature of human development requires what I call the “ecology of becoming.”

This ecology includes several essential elements:

• Simplicity and Silence: In a world of infinite options and constant noise, young people - we all - need spaces of deliberate simplicity where they can hear their inner voice.

• Reflective Mindfulness in Practice: Purpose discovery is fundamentally reflective work that happens best in relationship with others. It requires stepping back to ask deeper questions: What brings me alive? What resources do I have around me? What makes me forget about time? Where do my talents intersect with social need?

• Connection to Something Larger: Purpose almost always involves service or contribution beyond the self. This means recognizing our fundamental interconnectedness and finding ways to contribute our unique gifts to our communities. What are our individual values? What collectivistic values are we drawn to? Environmental justice, social equity, and community resilience?

From Individual to Collective Revelation

Purpose revelation cannot be rushed or forced. It emerges from the intersection of self-knowledge, community support, and opportunities for contribution.

In a culture that prizes speed, efficiency, and individual success, this slow work of unfurling in community feels almost radical. Yet it may be exactly what our young people—and all people—need most: permission to pause, to reflect, to listen to their inner wisdom in the context of authentic relationships, and to trust that within them lies something worth discovering. Something that, once revealed, will provide not just individual direction but the foundation for the connected, purposeful communities we all need to thrive.